Today is September 30, actually it is almost Oct. 1st (in 35 minutes!). In less than 18 days I will be showing at Congress. It is crunch time. Time to make the sacrifices of time and energy...to go out there and ride and work the patterns no matter how tired I am or how much I just want to go home and relax. Time to get on that treadmill and run run run and build up my stamina and strength.

Everything seems to be lining up and pointing towards success. This is dangerous, makes me believe my dreams might actually be doable. WAKE UP!!!

I didn't need buckets of stress like I got this morning...but then when does anyone actually need stress? I cannot change my basic self. To give this up would be giving up my life and who I am. Why should someone make me change myself and remove a part of me that is necessary, like air and water? It is so wrong...and it really makes me take a step back and think about things.

Posted by CoolRabbit at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

OK, so they totally didn't HAVE to announce my name and age on the radio this morning...ugh!

One more year left. I need to make it a good one.

You know, it really means something when people remember your birthday. It doesn't take money or anythng showy. An early morning phone call can really brighten your day...a message sent through the computer is a fun surprise. Free things are usually more meaningful. I wonder why that is? Maybe because most free things require thought and planning...someone is actually taking the time to think about you and let you know. How cool is that?

 It's getting down to crunch time. Congress is 3 weeks away. I am feeling somewhat prepared after my very successful weekend in Kentucky. I am really not giving Congress a lot of thought. I am just going to go and do it...

Just do it

 Things get a lot easier after this weekend. Homecoming is so much work and stress. It's cruise control after this! I can't wait! Then it will be time to concentrate on Taylor and on my own mental preparedness...my mental state is what brings me down more often than not. I need to remain confident and relaxed. Oh yeah, easier said than done!

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days all year. Everything just seemed to crash and burn from the moment I woke up. I hate feeling powerless, and I feel that way in so many aspects of my life. I also hate being made the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. Everyone is always trying to throw the blame elsewhere without looking inward. It's like a human form of barn-blindness. After a relatively smooth start to the school year, I had three major issues come up that I had to deal with yesterday, and they just kept coming one after the other. I am hoping that by virtue of being my birthday today, it will go a lot easier. Well, the day is still young, so we shall see!

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I woke up this morning in a major rush. I had to get ready for work, pack clothes for the football game tonight, pack clothes for after the game, pack clothes and equipment for the weekend, etc. I raced out the door only to find my big truck DEAD...the battery was completely dead. Thank goodness for Kevin. He was late to work (as was I) in order to take the time to figure out the problem, unhook the battery and get me a new one installed. I was on the road only 45 minutes late...what could have been a disaster turned out to be just a minor inconvenience. The best part is that the whole time I was freaking out and panicking, Kevin stayed calm and patient with me.

As independent as I like to be, it is such a great relief to have someone to lean on during the tough times. When it comes down down to brass tacks, we have each other and that's all we really have. People come and go but we stay, we are permanent. Kind of a nice feeling.

Posted by CoolRabbit at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Amazing how GOOD relief feels. You know the feeling...when you dread something to the point that your stomach feels tight, and then find it was all for naught - all is well! Cool...very cool.

OK, things are going somewhat smoothly in my life at this point in time (but of course it can change without notice). What I am lacking is time. Precious precious time. I am on the run all day, all afternoon, all evening...and when it is time to wind down and recharge, I can't seem to do it. How do you shut your mind off to all the unfinished tasks that keep whirling around in your brain, screaming for attention?

I wonder if someday when I am old and crippled, will I look at my life and all the excess time I have and wish for these days again - days when I have no time to breathe let alone eat a real meal?

My birthday is quickly approaching. It could be my last year on earth, if all the dreams I have had are true. How will I spend it? Well, one thing is for sure, I will spend every moment living my life as best as I can manage, having some fun along the way, accomplishing (or attempting to) my goals, making friends, and growing stronger. I won't be sleeping much, but then there is the long afterlife to take care of those needs.

But, right now a little extra sleep wouldn't hurt! Maybe a nice 2-hour delay tomorrow? That would be prime. Catch up on some sleep before my great marathon weekend - football game Friday night, leaving for a show in Kentucky and driving all night, showing all weekend, and then bringing Taylor HOME! Can't wait...she needs to be here with me again. Time to think about.....Congress. OK, not going to think about that quite yet, gotta get through homecoming first!

Posted by CoolRabbit at 09:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I did some housecleaning today, in several areas (as you can tell). Why allow foreign dirt to be tracked all over my house? Silly me, it won't happen again!

This is MY house

If you don't like it, click elsewhere!

You know, my tooth actually doesn't feel too badly today. Must be my good karma kicking in! Tomorrow morning we will see just how much good karma I have in store, because they are calling for fog......

YIPPEE!

I am keeping my fingers crossed for a 2 hour delay. That would be joyous.

Tomorrow night, Kevin and I are going on a DATE. Yes, a real live date, just us two. We haven't done that in forever. Real life gets in the way and makes us neglect your 'together' life. It's time to step back and enjoy each other's company and pretend we are dating.

Next weekend Taylor is coming home. Man, I miss that horse! I pray and pray and pray that her soundness issues are taken care of and that she feels good. One month from today is CONGRESS. This is our last Congress equitation class. It's time to redeem ourselves! Heck, I'll just be happy to have her home again. It's still too early to think about Congress. I am mentally planning, but not mentally preparing yet. This is another hardship year for us - too many factors have gotten in the way of proper preparation. I am just going to hope for the best, and enjoy the ride. Next year is Corky's turn...the big 3 year old Futurity. I am already nervous about that, and it's a year away! What a blessing...they are both a blessing.

I have a lot of blessings in my life. Lots of big and little ones, and I should take the time to count them and appreciate them. My horses, my husband, my parents, my great kids at my job, my jazz group, my favorite soup spoon, my freezer full of zucchini bread, I could go on and on, but I will save that for another post.

Till then....keep reading (as I know you will since you are so thoroughly addicted).

Posted by CoolRabbit at 07:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am very good at killing time. I can kill it with the barest of weapons...totally murder time!

This weekend I had a TON of work to do - charts to write, two songs to arrange, junior high books to put together. I went on a small personal strike because I was mad at my own personal life circumstances, and I didn't bring anything home to work on. So now, instead of working on charts or music, I spent the past 15 minutes playing Snood. What a time waster I am!

In a fit of anger, i didn't bring home any work on Friday night. I was mad at the world - my number one horse is lame and has been for 2 months...and Congress is just around the corner. Number 2 horse is behaving badly. Family is furniturizing me, and the nights are getting colder bringing in the potential for winter. I decided to heck with it and brought nothing home to work on. Of couse, I am only punishimg mysefl, as I will find out tomorrow morning when I am frantically trying to get everything done.

The weekend was not without it's small accomplishments. I got 4 pieces of artwork done that were ordered this week. I had two somewhat productive rides on Corky. I got a little more work done on that silly course I have to take for credits toward my teaching certificate renewal. I spent some quality time with Kevin (OK, he was watching the OSU football game the whole evening, but at least we were together!).

Speaking of killing time, I feel that's all I am doing with this blog entry. killing, murdering, wasting time. Time...the commodity I have the least of besides MONEY. But then that's a whole 'nother rant...

Posted by CoolRabbit at 08:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Invisible

Clear

Taupe

Nondescript

Ecru

Beige

Blah

Nonexistant

Furniture

Unimportant

Nothing

Minor

Inconsequential

Boring

Bland

Flavorless

Sugar Free

Fat Free

Rice Cakes

Granola

Blending In

Unseen

Unknown

Replaceable

Posted by CoolRabbit at 07:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

You know the old phrase 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'. well, sometimes you just have to sweat the small stuff in order to try and pretend that the large stuff isn't happening!

I am going to be facing a HUGE vet bill from Taylor. It's a bill big enough to do major damage to my budget, but it was a completely necessary procedure. I can't let her be crippled with pain. So instead of getting my tooth fixed, I got the bone spurs in her left front coffin joint and her right hind hock taken care of. I had no choice, it had to be done. But the bill will be astronomical. I am sweating profusely over this! So instead, I will start my rant and sweat about the little things in life that bug me, annoy me, drive me nuttier than usual:

1. People who open up a new roll of toilet paper and don't bother putting it on the holder. This bugs me to no end. I did an experiment this weekend and for the past 4 days I have not changed anything. People used up the roll, opened a new one, and left it either sitting on the counter or sitting on top of the roll holder. Downstairs we are on our second roll that has not made it into the holder. Very odd...it's not hard to do!
2. People who don't use their turn signals while driving. I am convinced that if every single person in the world used their turn signal for every turn, we would all shave about 2 hours per year off of our driving time...maybe more. How many times have you sat at an intersection waiting for the lone slow car to cross, only to have him turn right without a signal. GRRRR!
3. Running out of pretzels. It's my own fault, but dangit I hate it when I am all out of pretzels and have to make a special trip to the store just for that. I want all of my groceries to run out on precisely the same day so I don't have to make multiple trips.
4. Untrained dogs. If your dog barks incessantly, please train it, shock it with a bark collar, or leave him in the house. It gets very annoying to those of us with well-behaved dogs.
5. Copy Machines and locked offices. Why am I the only person who can jam a copier running simple copies at least once a day? Friday it was 4 times. Of course while I was jamming the copier, there was a line of teachers waiting to use the machine since the administration leaves at 3:30 every day and those of us who work longer hours cannot get in to do their work outside of regular school hours. I don't think anyone has any idea of how much work I do after band practice at 5pm every day. They are gonna find out, sicne I will set up camp at the copier at every free moment and not let anyone else use it until I am done!
6. Rain on a 3-day weekend. Now this is just WRONG! Tomorrow is my last day off until Thanksgiving, and it rained so much last week and this weekend that it is way too muddy to ride outside at home or at a show. Not fair!
7. Obnoxious parents. Here's a quote from a real prizewinner parent: "You are lucky we even have a football team, because if we didn't have a football team there would be no need to even have a band program". Yeah, ALL we do in band is groom kids for the only purpose they have - to play the fight song for touchdowns. Sheesh...talk about tunnel vision. That statement is too ridiculous to comment on any further.
8. Gas prices. It's unamerican not to gripe about gas prices. I won't be satisfied until gas is FREE.
9. Soft lead pencils. I hate soft pencils that don';t write smoothly or precisely. Likewise I hate pens that feel rough when you write with them. I am not a great fan of ballpoint pens in general. I prefer the felt tip, but they don't last as long...which leads me to another pet peeve.....
10. People who don't put the caps back on markers. They should be shot at dawn. I swear half my salary goes towards the purchase of dry erase markers because cheeseheads forget to put the cap back on after they use my markers to graffiti all over my board. Remember the good old chalkboard days? You never had to cap up your chalk, and it was so cheap and plentiful I don't think I have ever spent a dime on chalk supplies. But I don't miss the dust....
11. Shampoo that smells like vanilla. Does anyone really like the odor of vanilla? I mean, it's a bean! Yuck.

OK, I could go on and on, but what's the use? It won't cover up the fact that I have over a thousand dollars in vet bills coming...Congress is coming....Christmas is coming...cruise payment is coming...and the money isn't.

Posted by CoolRabbit at 08:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)