Doldrums
29 April 2009It’s another yucky, crappy day. I sat this morning in church and wondered about things…about what is ‘fair’ and why the world is so unbalanced in regards to fairness. Some peole have it all, some people have nothing, some are in-between. I get angry with myself for still having faith sometimes, because I feel foolish in always hanging on to that shred of hope. It’s so hard, because if I have nothing to look forward to, I have nothing to live for…so I have to find something.
Speaking of fairness, we will see just how fair and just my world really is tomorrow. Taylor gets checked for pregnancy tomorrow. I am fairly convinced she is not pregnant, based on my observations and my knowledge of my own bad luck. Wouldn’t it be more ‘fair’ if she was pregnant…giving me another chance? It would certainly help me in two areas – my pocketbook, and my feelings of hope (or the lack thereof). Would it be fair to take this away from me after the last two breeding disasters? We shall see…stay tuned.
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