Coping some more….
23 April 2009Today I am beat. I feel like I have been ripped apart and then taped together by some cheap Scotch tape. I stepped out of the shower today and noticed a purple swollen bruise on the front of my shin from where Lazlo accidentally kicked me on Saturday night when I was holding him down for the vet. How can a bruise make you cry…5 days later? I am such a waste.
Today I finally started answering my phone again, and took the call from the vet in Kentucky who wanted to discuss Lazlo’s case. What is there left to say that hasn’t been already said?
I am forcing myself to look towards the future, because I am losing respect for myself the way I am wallowing in what shoulda-coulda-woulda been. Taylor quite possibly is pregnant again, though I highly doubt it. I called to make the appointment, and she gets checked next Thursday. I don’t think she is pregnant, so the big decision time comes. Do I just eat the stud fee, or do I spend more money, throw good money after bad, and try to breed again? I want another Lazlo, but that is impossible – she is booked to be bred to a different stallion, and anyways there can never be another Lazlo. I waited so long for a boy to name that very special name…*sigh*
On a better note, the temperatures are supposed to be sunny and warm (70’s) all weekend. I will definitely be doing some horse therapy and letting Corky cheer me up. Knowing her, she’ll probably buck me off in front of everyone just for spite!
Life does go on. It’s weird, it just keeps trudging along and dragging me with it (kicking and screaming). I am getting better, so call off the mental police. I will survive (what a great song!).
No comments yet
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
