Low man on the totem pole
22 January 2007I am so low, I think I am actually the part that is underground! What does Jan want? Who knows? No one bothers to ask.It’s irrelevant, she ain’t gonna get it anyways unless it meshes 100% with the needs of the rest of the world. *hear the violins?* 
It’s hard living life as the great afterthought. It’s so subtle. Often there isn’t anythng really concrete to complain about. I call it the furniture syndrome. You know – the old furniture you have in your house that you’ve had around for quite a while. It was interesting, bright, pretty, and eye-catching when it was new, but now it has a little wear and tear and it kind of fades into the woodwork, so to speak.
It’s such an odd way to live. In some areas of my life I feel very competent, important, necessary, needed, and wanted. In other areas of my life I feel like I have already disappeared, like Jan has left the building. The couch is never noticed until a spring breaks. Then the discomfort gets noticed and dealt with. Once it is fixed, it just remains a piece of furniture that you don’t even notice while you sit there and watch TV.
Speaking of totem poles, I thin it would be totally cool to learn how to carve wood and to carve my own. I’d love to learn sculpting or wood carving. After a million years of painting, I feel the need to get into a more three-dimensional type of artwork. I want to be able to feel my artwork. Maybe I’ll experiment with some Play-Doh later on!
I just spent my first week without orky around, she went to kentucky last week to start learning her job (or learning to like it, at least!). Word is she really misses me. I wonder if she thinks I just dumped her and deserted her. What an awful feeling to have, I really hope she doesn’ think that. Come heck, high water, or snwstorms I am heading down there this coming weekend to visit her, and see how she is doing. On the back of my mind (OK, who am I kidding – it’s on the front of my mind) is the worry about her front tendon and if that might become a serious problem. That could be disastrous.
On a good note, as of this afternoon my cracked tooth is FINALLY fixed (after 5 appointments in the past month and a half) and I should have no more problems with it from here on out. What a relief! Only cost me $1800, what a bargain! 
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